in Utica

She who would be the Libertine Gospel of San Antonio


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Luke 7:37-39 King James Version

37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,

38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.

39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.


By chance while killing time during downtime between work assignments, I was browsing the chat rooms at I found some females with interesting reasons. One of these brought to mind the above 'foreword' which is the theme of this essay.

We engaged in the sexual banter that does occur in private chat rooms. After verbally 'climaxing' we did a reflective analysis. In that analysis the woman confessed that she had had several sexual relations with men while being married and while in between marriages with white males. She confessed she had a particular liking and affinity to Black men, which she had had when she saw herself as not an attractive teenager and younger person. She did wonder why she was so predisposed to being so easily and eagerly submissive to Black men.

What was unique about this woman she considered herself, who had no strong partisans beliefs, who thought in terms of the economic security of herself and her (white) sons, a conservative with no political interest beyond voting for more conservative candidates, which were in line with the affluent trappings of her home that were the avatar image of her profile.

Yet, her compulsions for trysts with Black men were because of the pleasurable fetish of the physical experience. At this point, having learned to understand the context of her asexual social existence, I inferred her sexual relations with Black men as more than a fetish which inspires the ire and loathing of Black women and Black chauvinist who condemn Blacks involved in such liaisons with women or men in less hedonistic activities.

I saw her activity as a kind of fetish of mystical proportions of a religious atonement by her as the representative of the White America in giving her body sexually in submission to Black men as the sacrificial offering of atonement for the ills and sins visited upon Black men and the Black American people. What she has been doing, quite non-self-consciously, is what missionaries and others have done in conscious altruism to those of a substantive or perceived degraded status.

She, much like the defiled and disparaged woman in the Gospel of Luke, has done an on-going acts of beatification equal to the service and sacrifice of other 'saints'. Her "saintliness" is the asymmetrical 'saintliness' of erotic passion, just as was said in the gospels of Christ-like love:

7/22/22 Update: Her background, intellectual dispositional limitations would indicate just an accentuated, submissive fetish. Her own conscious perplexity of the degree of her submissiveness with Blacks for whom she had little to no other interfacing beyond her proactive compulsions, brought to my mind and her agreement that her psyche/soul agenda was in play. That agenda beyond her delighted indulgence for it was more akin to what a missionary does for his subjects he/she services. A selfless subordination to their whims beyond and anomalous to any other relation. She is the sacrifice in that service on the social altar of reparations for Black men (coincidentally the chat room she found me). Her sacrifice is her offering of atonement for what she has sensed as her own culturally trained and unjustifiable, for her, social suppresiveness and repressions she is and has been a rebel against.

Update 7/23
Tho' with the zeal of a sexual evangelist proclaiming a new (sexual) cultural era, I suggested to her this caveat:
Her libertine license, presently reserved to the controlled venues of nudists camps, and encouraged by anecdotal observations of noted cultural changes, but in the Pollyannish belief that her world of social licentiousness is the emerging mindset, tho I remind her of the resentment of Black females of White poachers into their 'Black domain'.

If she takes her lustfulness to be the submissive one brazenly entering those non-controlled more racially mixed domains to allow her zealous lust to be dominated as a White sexual sacrifice for that more libertine relations between White women and Black men in TEXAS, then in that micro-world she will be not only the sexual terror in the rising politically regressive mores but the sign of her times coming into her own parallel emotional maturity beyond the recreational play of the nudist camps.

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