Posted in: District of Columbia Men Seeking Women
Anyone bored and looking for amazing bang? I wouldn't waste my time advertising myself if I couldn't deliver..but I've got the tools and skills to give you one wild night. Why you delaying? I take this post down when I find one!!
Ok, so checking out this post was the best decision you made today! COMPLETELY REAL AND SERIOUS AD. YES, it's the funniest thing you will ever read on CL! As long as this post is up then I'll still be looking! So quickly shoot me an email!
People want to know why I'm here..I mean if I'm posting on here there must be something wrong with me right? Actually I may be one of the few ppl you meet with zero drama, no kids, no crazy ex's, good job, own my own place and car and fairly wealthy and no psycho tendancies.
SO NOW without further ado--I'll start with my stats because that's actually really important, dammit! Their pretty decent so you should be willing enough to read this damn long post! I'm very attractive (as I've been told by most women). Exchange a pic with me and you judge! As long as this is up I am still looking. I am a real person but that should be obvious if you read this post. I took a lot of time to develop this post and I put my real life sense of humor and charm into it so enjoy!
BODY: Athletic and Muscular
EYE COLOR: Bright blue
HEIGHT: 5'10" (177cm)
ENDOWMENT: VERY LARGE
FEARS: Men emailing me
EDUCATION: Masters of female anatomy lol
LIKES: Women emailing me
DISLIKES: Men emailing me
EDUCATION: Masters with another honorary masters of female anatomy!
CAR? Yes--my bad ass car.
KIDS? None that I'm currently aware of
PSYCHOS? Nope! All my stalkers are in the past! Currently taking applications for future psycho-x's. ;)
GOALS? Sure am. Ambitiously avoiding new psycho-ex's.
ADVENTUROUS? I've jumped out of planes, off cliffs, and had many 4 doctors at different times in my life tell me I should of died. I've had my fair share of adventures and ready for more!
ATTRACTIVE? Very as I've been told. I'm not Taylor Lautner, but chances are you aren't Megan Fox. LOL
ENDOWMENT: VERY LARGE (should be mentioned again)
MARRIED: duh, no
INSANITY LEVEL: Posting on CL!! Must be A PRETTY HIGH LEVEL!
AX MURDERER: I'll leave the ax in the car.
OCCUPATION: first responder (this seriously narrows it down. Crazy but not crazy enough to specifically say what I do to the world of CL.
KINKS: for you to find out. You tell me what turns you on and I accommodate that and later tell you mine.
This is pretty much the best and most exhausting week ever. Its been nice out and I'veguy a couple days off from my awesome job chasing the bad guys. Prince Charming needs some relaxation! Without further ado, here's the TOP 5 REASONS WE SHOULD BANG TONIGHT:
1 -- I can actually hold a conversation. No boring office job anecdotes either. I'm talking cool stuff like why Blackbeard is the best pirate or the funny story about how I tried to microwave hard boil an egg (Microwave exploded). I'm known to be super funny and even more charming. If you'd rather just shut up and hook up, I can be the "strong, silent type" as well. Like the cover of a Fabio romance novel but with less hair and no crazy foreign accents!
2 -- Sexy and I know it. Im an Irish/Italian first-responder and I'm pretty decent looking. I got some muscle and decent build so I'm confident you will probably like what you see. Plus and most importantly I have an Ass of Steel from lots o' squats. Crazy barbarian sex is way easier/better with an athletic guy with a sexy beard.
3 -- I'm not creepy, needy or weird.Writing a Craigslist ad is kinda strange, I'll admit it. I'm mainly doing this because I'm becoming somewhat desperate and curious if it will work. My dating track record includes a whopping 0 restraining orders and I'm allergic to those damn bushes outside you're place. Plus have you seen gas prices lately? Stalking is way too expensive, especially if you live across town.
4 -- No dick pictures. Gallup polls show that 99.9% of the American public doesn't want to see a picture of some guy's dick. You have my ironclad guarantee that you will not receive any dick pics😉.
5 -- I'm a fun guy. Hang out and have fun together for a night out on the town! We're up all night then roll out of bed at 12 Pm! Hell yea. We aren't under any obligation to keep in touch. Win for everybody. I will mention on that note that I have probably have the most comfortable and best bed in the country. I mean at least top 10! I ranked it...
Sound good? HIT REPLY before it's too late! I am taking this down when I find her. I emphasize her...I Have to know your female and born female. Send me an email telling me your interested and your picture and let's waste no time. Looking forward to an awesome time. Or email me and send me your number and I'm almost always super quick to respond. I'm also mobile if you want me to come to your place.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers or if your male as I will likely troll the shit out of you for being dumb enough to think I am flexible in that area.